Do you know who you are?

Who you are obstacles-2

I was speaking to a friend last week and I came to the realization that to be in any relationship whether personal or professional, you have to first know who you are. What are your like’s, your dislikes? What are you driven by.. morals, money, affection, etc! What kind of behavior’s will you be willing to deal with in that relationship?

When you can fully understand [what makes you tick] you find that it is easier to deal with people around you. When you can define who you are rather than what/who you think you are….You can become more resilient in your personal life and begin to understand who you should keep around, and who you should let go.

As usual comments are welcome and as expected here are some useful links 🙂


Anxiety – What Can You Do To Minimize Symptoms

When we talk about anxiety we refer to the nervous feelings that one experiences. Anxiety can occur when people are nervous about a job interview, a class test, going on a date, or getting a new home. Of course there are many other things that can cause anxiety for a person. Some anxiety is normal phenomena that occurs and it is described as what is known as the flight or fight basic instinct, and in fact- is a healthy reaction to certain situations. Davis (2004) states that

The cold sweat of anxiety is that “fight or flight” response that kept our early relatives safe from grizzly bears and other scary characters, says Andrews. “That adrenaline rush still serves us well under certain circumstances. Anxiety is a natural reaction to those very real stresses.

To recap, when someone experiences nervousness from situations such as this it is considered a normal response to the stressor. However, when it is the norm for a person to constantly seem apprehensive and nervous about the future and everything that could occur, it then can become an anxiety disorder. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (2014) “There are a wide variety of anxiety disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and panic disorder to name a few”. Some times the feelings of anxiety can begin to affect an individual in such a way as it becomes a struggle to function in a healthy manner. The MNT Knowledge Center (2014) relays that,

Anxiety is a general term for several disorders that cause nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worrying. These disorders affect how we feel and behave, and they can manifest real physical symptoms. Mild anxiety is vague and unsettling, while severe anxiety can be extremely debilitating, having a serious impact on daily life.

Anxiety disorders can be treated and most often clients can learn how to cope with life’s stressor’s while minimizing anxiety symptoms. There are many avenues available to help minimize the feelings and behaviors associated with anxiety. Marano (2003) recommends CBT therapy and medication to help manage symptoms specifically stating “medication and CBT are equally effective in reducing anxiety/depression; but CBT is better at preventing relapse, and it creates greater patient satisfaction” – but the key is finding the right therapist who can apply CBT techniques properly. There are other options available as well for sufferers of anxiety who do not want to take medication- frequent exercise, relaxation techniques, hypnotherapy,yoga, acupuncture can help minimize anxious feelings- and also herbal remedies such as “Gingko biloba, St. John’s wort, ginseng, garlic, and basil” have also shown to be effective in combating anxiety symptoms (Buzzle, 2014). Buzzle does however submit a reminder by noting that some herbal remedies may interfere with other medications such as SSRI’s, so make sure you consult a doctor to see if any of these options are applicable to you and your personal situation.

Of course as with every other blog- I post links that are educational for you to check out, feel free to do so. 🙂



Buzzle, (2014). Dealing with anxiety and depression. Retrieved from the Buzzle website:

Davis, J. L. (2004). Coping with anxiety. Retrieved from the WebMD website:

Marano, H. E. (2003). Anxiety and depression together. Retrieved form the Psychology Today website:

MNT Knowledge Center (2014). All about anxiety. Retrieved from the Medical News Today website:

National Institute of Mental Health (2014). What is anxiety disorder? Retrieved from the National Institute of Mental Health website:

Letting Go.

Too often we find ourselves dwelling about things that have happened in our past. I have not heard of a time machine that let anyone go back to the past and fix anything, have you? To live means to function and to exist in life.. living in the past means that you are not living because you cannot enjoy life in the current moment. Live in the moment of today- be aware of the things that you are doing, seeing and experiencing. You cannot control every portion of your life which includes today or latter years. But you can be aware of the current situations that occur and deal with them in a manner that is positive. Sharing a few quotes may be of assistance to those who living in the past instead of in the future.. I will share a few with you. As cited by the Quote Garden (2014)

Living the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causing you to bump into people not going your way. ~Edna Ferber

One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us. ~Michael Cibenko

Our past is like a footprint. It only confirms we were there. No burden on our future does it bear. Bring the rain, clear the pane of clutter. ~Jeb Dickerson,

It is OK to remember things as long as the reminder is used to better your current life. Take from the experience as a learning tool to find peace, overcome obstacles and be resilient. It is human nature to remember parts of our lives, however what makes you strong is the ability to dissect the memory and put it to good use. Think of the positive experience that came from the negative situation- for instance, you got arrested when you were younger. Does that define who you are in this moment? Have you used the experience to better your life? If so then those positive things are what you should focus on. So what I got arrested, that was my past (acknowledge the problem-but I don’t live there anymore) follow that with- I have done X,Y.Z to better myself (explaining growth) and I am now living in the present awaiting a future.

Think of the missed opportunities that you have had while trying to focus on the past. Better yet, think of the current opportunities awaiting you because YOU DESERVE it! Sasson (2014) states,

Do you know how many opportunities are missed due to dwelling on the past, instead of seeing and being conscious of what is happening at the present moment? When our mind is elsewhere we behave like robots, and repeat the same mistakes of the past, do the same things, and then complain that our life is dull and uninteresting.

This is a powerful and an amazingly accurate statement because in essence when living in the past a person walks around frightened and anxious over what is going to happen next because they haven’t made changes or dealt with “OLD” stuff – so they can move on to better things. There is no person other than you as an individual who is responsible for your growth and your happiness. Yes bad things happen but it is ultimately up to you to take the steps to make changes occur in your life. You cannot change the past, nor can you change people. Happiness starts within you… you choose how to live, you choose how to react to people and to situations. Turning a negative situation into a positive reflection begins with you so you can LIVE in the here and now. LET US BEGIN ANEW, LET US BEGIN TO LOVE, EXPERIENCE LIFE IN THE NOW, RIGHT NOW -TODAY!!


Quote Garden, (2014). Quotations about living in the present. Retrieved from the Quote Garden website:

Sasson, R. (2014). Living in the present. Retrieved from the Look Within You Awaken Your Spirituality website:

Positive Affirmations: What are they?

Think for a moment about they things that you say about yourself. Do you stand in front of a mirror and say “I am fat”, “I am old” “I am ugly”, ” I have a big butt”, “I don’t like my nose”, etc? Humans are constantly putting themselves down and these thoughts run through our heads thousands of times a day, these are called NEGATIVE AFFIRMATIONS. What IF we were to reword, reframe, and/or rethink what we say about ourselves to become POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS? Well first we should dissect what an affirmation is. Armstrong (2012) states that, 

Affirmations, really, are simple. They are you being in conscious control of your thoughts. They are short, powerful statements. When you say them or think them or even hear them, they become the thoughts that create your reality. Affirmations, then, are your conscious thoughts.

Research has shown that we have between 45,000 and 51,000 thoughts a day. That’s about 150 to 300 thoughts a minute. Research has also shown that for most people 80% of those thoughts are negative.

In essence, affirmations are what you think or affirm to be true either good or bad (of self). Over time however, all of the negative affirmations will rule your mind and lead a person to believe that they are not good enough. Food for thought here: I or I AM…are the two most powerful statements of a persons psyche. They describe who you believe you are and your emotions. Instead of saying I AM FAT- try saying I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM WORTHY, I LOVE MYSELF, etc, Once you begin to reword what you think of yourself your mindset will become more positive and this will help you turn negative experiences into positive situations. 

As always in my blogs I share useful links for you to read more on the topic of discussion. Feel free to check them out and as usual feel free to ask questions 🙂 

I like this particular link specifically because it breaks down affirmations and situations to create positive experiences 🙂

Here is another one that offers an EBOOK should you be interested.

This link offers a variety of information on affirmations by topic and is also a good read

I challenge each one of you to post at least 3 NEGATIVE AFFIRMATIONS that you continually process, and then I challenge each of you to REFRAME those thoughts into something POSITIVE – write them down, tape them to your mirror and look at them each morning and each evening and at the end of the week come back to the post and discuss the changes in your thought processes regarding how you feel about yourself. Remember to READ the links they will help you determine which AFFIRMATIONS are positive and negative. 



Armstrong, S. (2012). What is an affirmation: They will change your life forever. Retrieved from the Boulder Coaching Academy Website:



Creating Positive Experiences from Negative Situations

Check out my Facebook page : Creating Positive Experiences from Negative Situations. This group has been formed to assist others in finding positive reactions in negative situations. Members are free to post as long as the dialog is appropriate and helping others through struggles. Admins post topics that are requested for discussion (within reason) either on the page or through WORD PRESS. Please feel free to join the group,

How did you live positively today?

Today, as I was going from a presentation to my part-time job I realized that I still needed to go to the post office and to the mechanics to look at my car. I came to the conclusion that I have overcome so much this last year. I have re-located to another state to do an internship, gotten guardianship of my nephew, sent a daughter off to the military, and cut ties from a negative relationship all while staying positive about my future. It truly is amazing how much a person can take in stride and still be fully functioning. Take my advice- today is only a day, tomorrow brings freshness and a chance to begin again. Live each day with purpose and dedication to change!!! 🙂 

Finding Your People: Forums and Niche Networks

Here you go

The Daily Post

We spend a lot of time discussing ways to use social networks like Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram to grow your blog’s audience. Forums are another effective tool for increasing your readership: these niche social networks are a focused way for bloggers who publish on specific topics to connect, boost their blogs, and find new post inspiration.

Finding your people

Sadly, the needle is not always so easy to find -- but forums and niche communities can go a long way toward shrinking your virtual haystack. "Needle in a Haystack," James Lumb . Sadly, the needle is not always so easy to find — but forums and niche communities can go a long way toward shrinking your online haystack.
“Needle in a Haystack,” James Lumb.

Finding people on the internet is the easy part. Finding the people you want to connect with — the people who care about the same things, or share your values — is another matter entirely. Many new bloggers feel alone despite joining a community millions strong, because simply participating doesn’t mean you’re connecting.

There are many ways to ameliorate…

View original post 573 more words